I don’t have the right to talk, I don’t have. Everytime I talk then I’ll get some negative feedback even a suggestion also the same. What should I do? Am I who I am ? I think no longer the girl who have a great smile like those days. Because everything also keep inside can’t voice it out, everytime voice it out sure has a bad comment and end up tears, what should I do?
As usual, always asking why I don’t talk, there sure got the reason behind, should I tell you more clearly? Tell you also can’t solve it, somemore making more worse. I am not who I am, infront im still smiling, laughing but inside my heart, I totally feel numb, pain, I can’t even feel the happiness, don’t have, long long time didn’t feel it, it seem like something took my happiness away…
I ady can’t do anything I like, I constriant dy, What you want me to do? Do I necessary need a permission to say something? Sigh, when I said something I also need to control, afraid that said something wrong which I don’t mean that, then it will bring out the topic as an argument, that’s your hobby.
See, what should I say? Before that I’m quite a talkative girl, now talk also carefully. Who am I? I hate to be like that. I just want to shut the door and leave me alone ! So sad when someone said looking at you feel so boring, you thought im going to have the sad looking instead of happy? want me to pretend it? want a fake smile from me? is possible for me to do that, but sure you won’t accept. I can’t talk, what you want me to say ? so I can still happy without talking ?
From now on, I keep on practice to say this one I don’t want, that one I don’t want rather than those words that I used to say “I want this…I want that…” You thought I really want this and that ? Im just talking only even it’s impossible to do that I also will speak like this way… Why TAKING IT SO SERIOUS???
Why have to take my personality away !! I feel so tired being this, because I don’t have the right to say anything…. Even something rumours to share also cannot, if not, sure bring out the topic like stepping bad things behind ppl and bla bla..
Im tired, Im being so tired for these….
I sacrify it, You want me don’t want talk then I don’t talk, what else you want me to do…
Who am I ? Im no one….
The one who only follow ppl’s order, no target, no life, no rights….
Im invisible..
Segregate with all people, loosing communication with friends. Maybe because of the working environment =( In my company I can find any nice people talk to, well as what they said “can’t find a good friend in a company”, that’s real !
Hmmmm, what to do ? Feel so miserable..
What’s up in my mind is Save Money For JAPAN !!! yes ! need save money ! Others stuff just keep it a side.
Guess need around 7k per person =.=” Sigh….
I must be patient, patient… Wait for confirmation and raise my salary, few months soon can be relax through out the few days in overseas =)
Wish me luck *Muacks*
I was been busy for the CNY and now is in month of March. Time pass really fast…
I have been working in this new company around 2 months ady, hmmm, what i should say? So far so good la LOL Not much work as last time, do the people friendly? half half only. But as long top management recognise me then is enough =)
A very good news I had it now !! Im planning to go Japan on Sept !! Hurray, Finally I can go japan with my own, of cause together with my bf, just both of us =) Since not follow the tour, now have to reading maps, book the flight ticket, plan where to stay, how many day trips we need..bla bla bla..
Now have to save money $$ =.= roughly need 5k and above per person to go japan…..
But I plan dy, 1 month save 1k guess is ok geh.. =p Since I didn’t spend lot in Ipoh here..hehehe
Recently not seeing many ppl update in FB, boring. Everytime back home from work, nothing to do =.=”
But now I really can’t wait for the “Alice in a wonderland” movie =) Cast by Johnny Depp. Really excited wanna watch it. =p
For the buying new hp, need to be delay cause need save money go to Japan =( but if got extra money then I can buy my blackberry =p Sigh, just hope my wish come true la.
Wish the company give me the confirmation and increase my salary =)
**********************************Bless Me**************************************
Valentine passed dy, I did received early gift and yet no celebration of cause =)
But i did not blame cause is chinese new year mah cant be celebrate 2 things together right? hehe
Almost same as last year didn’t go out celebrate only eat at home..
Difference is this year no flower, no chocolate =( Nvm ler, maybe will replace back ler……
Anyway, soon gotta start work ady, I didn’t took leave cause no more annual leave for me =.=” somemore im working only 1 month +… This cny kinda bored cause can’t visit certain relative’s houses because my aunt passed away last week, is ok, I don’t mind :p
Hmmm, quite sien recently cause last time in KL busy till death wanna have a space to leave a breath also cannot but here in ipoh, free till don’t know what to do hahaha… Every night before 12am ady feel sleepy, early morning have breakfast, really damn healthy, free to do scrub, eyes’s bag also getting smaller ady =)
Sigh, really thinking where to relax, this year heard that everyone also going travel, I wish can travel one country once a year. Hmmm, how bout this year? Need to think where to go? How much $$ for the trip?..
Boring………. =.=”
***********
*Valentine*
Hug & Kisses ~ Endless Love ~
This 2010 cny is might not a best new year for me, few days ago I had a belove cousin aunty passed away, tears and sadness is all around us. But from what I understand since she pass away before cny, she wants us to be happy rather than sad to celebrate it. Although she was not here anymore, but is a memories for us now.
So, tomorrow going to be chinese new year =) I can see many cars from outstation coming in, really traffic jam, I just have treatment on my hair and going to do manicure & penicure afterwards :p The weather as usual, really damn HOT and im sweating it right now =.=” really can’t stand for it. Every night also on the air cond while asleep till the morning..
As u all know that valentine crashing to this cny, haha can’t go anywhere since need to have dinner together with family =) So bout the celebration will be delay it but anyway I ady received the nice gift from him *Wink*
hehe.. 
Sigh, don’t know why this cny don’t have that kind of mode maybe im working now, not much of holiday =(
Sigh, still thinking this year need to go where to travel 
Japan? is the place that I would really like to go but too bad, very expensive. Thailand, Indonesia, Hong Kong those places kinda bored for me, been there few times feel like not going it.. Wanna find some places there cold cause wanna get rid out of here hot place..hehe
Wanna go travel have to save money 1st then only decide where to go, sigh =(
Nothing much to say here, Happy chinese new year everyone & valentine days to those couples.
*Muacks* Muacks my baby…
Last weekend went to KL again for purchasing the cny clothes =.=” Cause desperate since cny is coming soon and I have no time to shop around. 1st day departure Pavilion -> my favourite place shopping..lol
Bought Playboy’s jacket + clothes, very nice + pricey T_T nearly 300 bucks for 2 clothes. But no choice cause it’s looks nice on me mah =) Then went MNG bought the ultimate slim jeans almost 200bucks =.=”
Last but not least, Valentine is coming and it fall on the same day as cny, hahaha sure going to buy the early gift to replace the valentine (Of cause can’t miss it) hehe. Braun Buffel I bought one for him and me, very nice leather and service also quite good.
Tend to buy the Gucci bag but super damn expensive, the cheapest one also cost 2k and above =.=”.
Well, what to do, better wait I get confirmed by my company and get increament only got $$ to afford it. But it’s not quite important la, I wont want it desperately since it’s just a bag, somemore I’ve my coach =)
For my turn, he bought a gold bracelet (mickey mouse) as Valentine gift…
I like it very much since it’s mickey and i don’t have any kind of jewery of Disney. I know it’s childish since im dy adult still like this kind of thing, well, it’s age-less, even im getting old im still like it. That’s me. This bracelet super expensive, I wont buy it for the next time cause im have it right now. Doesn’t know it’s happy or feel sad, happy cause finally i got the mickey’s bracelet, sad because he need to buy such expensive thing for me. What to do? if not keep it? or sell it back? Wear it feel so badly, keep it a side feel so “waste”. Think positive, even expensive as long as i like it guess be ok right? hahaha…
But ermmmm, I wont tell what I want for the rest of those celebration, better not to waste $$ =)
So, these are some pics share with u guys, sorry i didn’t edit my photo cause that stupic sony laptop, don’t know why didn’t support the latest photoshop =.=” have to install another version..
p/s: Sorry, recently not updating my blog =)
Last weekend one day trip to KL, fetch my sis back home and shop with family =) Chinese new year is coming, im not yet buy any “new” dress =(
The schedule of that day was, 1st is went to p1 to do termination, cause so ngam my new staying area didn’t have coverage of p1 =.=” now headache thinking what to use other than streamxy and maxis =)
After went to Midvalley -> my favourite shopping place =) bought lot of clothes, but end up didn’t bought the pants and also dress =( Then, saw La Senza got promotion, I am a big fans and member of it =) Hahaha, crazy buying panties and bra which cost around 310 bucks =.=’ Luckily that day got 30bucks discount and somemore membership card can deduct 10% so end up only 249bucks. Somemore that bra which i bought cost me 129bucks =.=
This weekend im going to kl, Pavilion -> My another favourite place =) To buy sandals, slippers and something that forget to buy on last week. Oh and my braun buffel wallet =p
So fast, tomorrow gonna get my salary ady =) Got money to shop liao, but I won’t be a shopaholic, try my best to buy those what i needed =p
I have been working in this new company for almost 1 month, time pass so fast, next week im going to get my salary hahaha =)
Oppps, guess I’m not yet tell you all that I’ve been moved to Ipoh (my hometown) working and permanently staying (with him *WinK*).. Well, at 1st im still doubt that whether I’ve made the right decision to go back to my hometown rather staying in kl? But if I’m wanna stay in KL, at least I need to work so hard to earn more money to satisfy my shopping desire =.=”
Frankly speaking, if im only have 3k (work within 1 year) I can’t buy my volkswagen beetle, can’t get married because lack of $$ =(, have to stay far far like shah alam cause other houses like near to central are too expensive, important thing is can’t save money !!!
Currently, Im working in a electronic company (Carsem) which produce Micro chips, IC for clients like Sony, Samsung and lot. There’s few thousand of ppl working in it. It’s quite a new experience for me, because no longer deal with IT anymore. A new start to deal with lot of people and also product’s quality. For the Salary part, is abit higher than last time =) but can’t tell you all how much. LOL. Benefits quite good because Carsem is subsidies by Hong Leong group, so when u wanna buy car or house, borrow loan from HL will subsidies (1% or 3 %) percentage for you. Other than that, profits for dental..medical. Another thing, working in here is no need pay car parking and of cause no toll =) hehe.
So, basically my job task is can say easy and little bit of busy but at least I can go back on time =)
Usually, hve meeting with those leader, head sections, managers cause wanna solve the quality issues,
give briefing to those operators, line leader, supervisor, technicians to counter zero defects. =)
Guess, you all kinda clear where i am now, what my job task is, right? 
What im doing now is for future, save money $$ and able to live a better life =p Sounds kinda reality? Well, have to face it rather than live in a fairy tale worlds and always running out of money =(
I don’t know whether im doing to correct things, but at least what I know what I want for now =)
Hope day by day getting better
Always sleep and work in a air condition envrionment =.=’
After back from Thailand, didn’t really take care well causes my skin getting dry,
Lazy to put lotion and scrub it…
Now, I have bought the Scrub and Body butter from Body Shop..
My member card 15th of this month going to expire =.=”
Still got 35bucks discount if i spend 75bucks more..
So guess next week I need to buy mask from there to earn more points and get 35bucks discount =)
Too bad, CNY just around the corner…
Im still not yet buy the clothes =.=’ and also my shoes..
And I need to buy a new cellphones, since current 1 hang till crazy =(
Sigh, need to wait my salary comes out only can buy…
This month expenses sure high and sure can’t save money…. =(
Yea, after few days of orientation,
Finally can step into work and more understand what my job scope is..
Of cause, do some report is definately necessary
Gotta look after of the supervisor and lot of operators =.=”..
Make sure they do the right thing and process the good thing…
Well, at least i can give command to ppl
Better than those days, only get the command from ppl =.=’
1st day of work, still ok la..
My department all are really friendly, clean up my table and order new pc for me =)
OT got money, everyone also love family, once finish their job all excited to go back home..
Hahaha, I can go back on time =p
Anyway, hope I’ve a good start….
Love ❤ Days
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